Monday, May 17, 2010

THINGS FOREVER

Does time heal all wounds? A couple of years back, I was upset over some reason and one of my closest friends told me, " It really doesnt matter you know, Two years from now you are not even gonna remember this''. Well, three years have passed. Quite eventful I must say. And new memories have replaced the old ones. "Replaced'' may not be the apt word. It is more like a pile of junk. Each day another load is added on top of the previous ones. But it doesn't mean ones deep down dont exist. They do. And some of them are non biodegradable- they dont rot. They lie there waiting. And at times, when the days can be best definied as jobless, some fool (I realise the irony.. gah!) would take a stick and dig it up, bit by bit, slowly, searching for some diamond lost in the junk pile. But anyhow, diamonds are hard to find. It is these non biodegradable peices of useless plastic that is thrown enough and more on our way.

Vaccations are the time of the year when I suffer from bouts of bittersweet memories bombarded consistently on my brain cells. Like for instance I was ransacking my bedroom the other day and guess what I found. Under piles and piles of books was lying my old tenth standard physics record . Even the cover was intact. Well, it was just a lifeless book that was in my hands then, but what it handed over were living ghosts of dead memories. I observed how my handwriting had changed over the years, just like me. How the 'f's and 'h's had gained height and the 'g' had lost its fancy tail. The hurriedly copied diagrams and observations ,the blotch of ink that had become the reason for a fued with a dear friend, the smell, the brown cover with Harry Potter happily smiling on it- everything. Just everything coiled around me like tentacles. Dragging me back.

Sometimes, the things that surpise us the most are the things that are most obvious. I kept the book aside and looked at the mirror. The physical change was apparent. It was the mental transistion that stunned me. Each day, each moment we think. Yet most of the times we hardly notice the change in our thoughts, the way we think, the change in our values, priorities, objectives, the change in us.

But no matter how we change, each experience, everything we do or is done to us leaves a part of itself within us. These invisible traces are the non biodegradable junks I was talking about earlier. They stay. They are meant to stay and can never be naturally removed. They are like invisible strings. They influence us. Control us. Our thought process. They are beyond time. May be it is time that makes them invisible. But it can never kill them.

As I was saying. This particular incident happened 3 years back. I cant say " 3 years are over. Yet I remember everything. Afresh.'. NO. Ofcourse I dont. But there are a few things that I remember. A few things that really matter. The few essential things. The non bio degradable parts of the complex whole. And I know no matter what happens I am going to and going to have to remember them ( As long as I dont catch Alzheimers that is..heh heh..).

So does time heal all wounds? Does time completely wipe of incidents that matter? I dont think so. It just doesnt work that way I guess. Some other things are also meant to stay forever. Not just the diamonds.