Thursday, June 14, 2012


I had a face,
I liked it very much, you didn't
and in the comforting loneliness
of my dressing room
I tore it with a thousand needles,
and in every drop of blood that spilled
I saw your smile
and in that smile i saw my happiness

And then with time i had another,
a subtler one, with creases
invading it in places,
though at moments i missed my old one
i liked it with a calm serene affection,
you didn't,
you refused to like the face and its homely creases
and in the helplessness of a smoky kitchen
i immersed it in fire,
and in every agonizing blister that marred me
i saw your smile
and in that smile i saw my happiness...

And then i found myself another face,
and then another,
and again, and again,
till i was the empress of a thousand faces,
tired of killing and creating,
marring and healing,
and alone in my kingdom,
waiting on your kingly smile..

Yet you refused to be happy,
and in your rejection, hurt
i danced alone on the bonfire of faces,
and every face i burned
consumed me, and together
a thousand faces became me
and in that unison i engulfed you,
you burned inside me,
slowly as your bones poped in the fire
they laughed and smiled, my faces..
And in their smile I found my happiness...

(Entry for Saarang Writing Awards 2013)


Yes, I am terrified of ghosts,
of those lingering shadows
that break my sleep and
fill my eyes with frightful tears
touching the back of my neck
with cold breaths of death

I am terrified when shivering
I see them look through my
blanket and see a cowering me inside
bundled up like a baby
I know they can see me
See through me and see
how afraid I am, even when i try to
fool them with the calmness of sleep

And in those afternoons,
when the sun breaks in through the corridors
I can feel them all around me
waiting inside the walls
in wisps and smoke
waiting to take shape and pounce on me...
ghosts of everything that
lives inside me
everyone that passed through me
everyone that even in their leaving
refused to leave and left their
traces all over me....

Finding me back,
finding me crumbled and shriveled,
in the summer days of life,
cold and lifeless,
ghosts of the dead and the living,
And me terrified and alone,
under the safety of a withering blanket...