ON DEATH.

What happens when we die? When we die, we die. But is that all? They tell me, when we die, we die and go away and those whom we leave behind pay the price of our journey.

I don't know if that is true. I haven't died yet to take an authentic stand. But I don't think that when we die for whatever reason we die- accident, murder, suicide or whatever other than old age, we don't pay a price. It would be absolutely fallacious to assume so. We lose our life. What could be more precious to anyone? We lose the valuable moments that we could have spent on this beautiful place. We lose experiences- sensual and spiritual. We lose relationships, the warmth each relationship gives us. We lose our freedom of expression and being. WE LOSE. We are the losers, when we die.

Of course, our dear and near ones will mourn our death. But one must keep in mind that God has blessed human beings with a very unique capability - the ability to move on. I don't know and I don't think I can say, that we have the ability to forget. No, at least not all of us. Sometimes, we never truly forget or 'get over' certain losses. But yes, We definitely do move on. And in the process we find happiness. Often greater happiness than the ones we had. So no matter who dies, or how close that person was we will, after a while, get used to it and move on. No matter what happens life goes on.

But what about the departed? There is no coming back for them. No power of speech, of expression, of touch, of experience, nothing. With a single event, they become invisible. How would it possibly feel to be pushed out of the place you belong, the place you consider to be your own, that too often without even a prior notice. You will be caught in surprise, completely off guard and before you know it will all be over. I cant picturise my self in a position where I can see life flowing in front of my eyes, without me in it. I mean, my parents, my friends, people whom I care about, all of them living and me completely absent in the picture. As selfish as this may sound, I just don't wanna see that happen. I cant think of a position where I can no longer kiss my parents, laugh with my friends, eat all my favourite stuff, sleep with sweet dreams, wake up with hope, and blog with so much of happiness. No. I dont want to die, not any soon at least.

Yesterday, a student in my college passed away. Unexpectedly. He was celebrating his birthday when it happened. I hear people complaining about the negligence of the institute hospital, of the authorities. I dont want to talk about it 'cause I don't know what really happened and it wouldn't be right to blame someone without knowing the actual reason. I don't expect God to read my blog, but I have a faint feeling that he is reading all my thoughts. And I want him(or her) to know that, it wasn't fair. I know I am no one to judge the way he (or she or it) moves the world, me myself being one of his imperfect creations, but still. I cant bring myself to appreciate God's big game and glorify him on such instances. As his imperfect creations, he can neglect all our imperfect thoughts, but if heaven or this universe itself is a democracy, may be our silent protests may hit the mark.

What am I saying? May be all this looks like utter nonsense to you. I don't know. All I know is someone, just a couple of years older than me, passed away yesterday, and that he or we were not expecting it, and that he has left a big bunch of dreams and two weeping parents behind.